Technical Editing: Eliminate Passive Voice and Secondary Verbs for Clear Technical Writing

 
© Ugur Akinci
You can eliminate a lot of deadwood from your technical writing by eliminating the passive voice and secondary verbs.
Here is an example:
ORIGINAL:
“A decision was made at the Project Management level that the product should be released by the first of the new year.”
“A decision was made” is not only a passive voice construction but it also hides the secondary verb “to make” in its fold.
A further complication arises from the euphemistic “Project Management level” phrase.
FIRST SIMPLIFICATION: Get rid of the passive voice.
RESULT 1: “The Project Management level made a decision that the product should be released by the first of the new year.”
SECOND SIMPLIFICATION: Get rid of the secondary verb “to make” by transforming the noun “decision” into the verb “to decide.”
RESULT 2: “The Project Management level decided that the product should be released by the first of the new year.”
THIRD SIMPLIFICATION: Get rid of the euphemism by getting rid of the “level” abstraction.
RESULT 3:
“The Project Manager decided that the product should be released by the first of the new year.”
EXERCISE
Simplify by using the above method:
“A conclusion was reached by both the parents and the teachers at the PTA meeting platform that the students should take remedial classes for their SAT preparations to attain a level of success.”